My True North – Wanderlust Whistler 2015

“I want to see the world!!” These were the words my daughter eagerly expressed, as she widened her curious eyes at me. The corner of her lips raised causing her cheeks to wrinkle from a smile that could not be restrained through all the excitement. She turned her eyes to the oval window behind me, and as she watched the airplane descend to ground, I could hear the sound of leather rubbing beneath her bottom caused by anticipation so great, she could barely stay still in her seat.

It was apparent. She was consumed by wanderlust…

With myself as a yogi at heart and my daughter being an aspiring singer/songwriter, Wanderlust was perfect for the two of us — an all-out celebration of mindfulness, the perfect blend of yoga and music together. Yogis unpacked out of buses, cars and SUVs with their mat slung off their shoulders, and placed their baggage aside. We followed signs leading us to destinations that carried names of “The Quiet Place,” “The Uncommons,” and “The Sanctuary,” absorbing the inspiring reminders that “love is the answer” and “sky above me, earth below me, fire within me” placed amongst a floating sea of people, along the way.

I let my mat roll out…ready to experience Wanderlust. The classes felt so raw, real and inspiring. Each class and each teacher touched me in some way. I didn’t hold any specific intention of what I was looking to get out of Wanderlust, but I left uncovering a desire burning deep within that had been scared to come out from beneath a blanketed covering of protection.

It was a desire to be true to myself. Hidden inside, my true self lied deep within. She had hid herself for so long now, that I had forgotten all about her. Covering herself in a blanket of identifications that society, family and friends have — protectively — placed over her. She accepted it. For she too had her own fears. She accepted it to remain safe. At some point, somehow, it felt safer for her to accept these coverings of identifications — of incapability, of weakness, of unworthiness.

But during this celebration of mindfulness, I celebrated  my mindfulness and allowed it to expand. Past the identifications and through the layer of protection that blanketed over me, I finally heard myself, my true self — the one that stayed hidden for so long out of fear, but lovingly kept the true radiance of my being protected and safe. And I heard how much she finally wanted to see past the fear that kept her hidden, again. And I saw how her eyes lit up with curiosity and how her smile shined out from within her heart at the idea of experiencing, again. And I felt how she shook with anticipation at the thought to finally be free, again. My true self wanted to, once again, see the world! And just like my daughter, I too had become consumed by wanderlust…
 

She came out from the coverings of identifications that held her in safety. For she remembered her abilities, her strength, and her worthiness. The layer of protection that society, family and friends lovingly covered her with served it’s purpose. For only through this could she experience who she was not, so that she could realize who she was…
 

And in that very moment, she was finally set free…

With mats slung, we picked our baggage back up. The ones we carried with us in our hands, on our shoulders and within our hearts, but left to the side just for a couple days of mindful living. We hopped back onto the bus, took our seats and listened as the driver intercommed over the question, “Ready to go home, everyone?” to only hear a non-hesitant agreed reply, “Nooo…!” We shared a laugh and began our way back on the road.

And with me now, no longer hidden, I now carried that girl that I once was, — always have been and sadly just forgotten — my true self…my very best self from Wanderlust to continue on this road of life.

I found my true north.

In which ways, has society, family and friends identified you? In what ways did they love you enough to want to protect you and what were they protecting you from? What was it that they were scared of? In which ways have you allowed yourself to accept these identifications? In what ways did you love yourself enough to want to protect yourself and what were you protecting yourself from? What was it that you were scared of?

Deep Love,

Transcendence and Healing

I had somehow got lost. I explored the lands of yoga, hoping to find my way. The travel was steeper than I had imagined, but I had to keep my head up to the horizon and keep on moving against the ascending climb. As my awareness grew more expansive entering new territory, seeing new sights and discovering many things that all lied within the landscapes of myself, I began to look back with despaired regret.

Although, I encountered so many beautiful things — similar to on my travel back to my ancestory land of Cambodia, when I had the honour to step through the wondrous and exquisitely divine temples of Angkor Wat. I also encountered the ugly. During that same visit, I cried nearly everyday. The sight of a young boy — the same age as my 5 year old daughter at the time — lying in the middle of a gas station, in filthy clothes, with nothing… not even his mother. My blood began to boil. How could anyone let this happen? As I travelled more and more, I saw that it was everywhere. People were so poor. How could others be so selfish? Not to let them have a meal, clothing, a roof to sleep?! The very basic of our needs!! I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs!!! The pain became so much…

But then, I took a still moment and looked deep within my own self. What have I done to be so selfish? What actions have I done to harm others? What am I doing to contribute to all this suffering? As much as I didn’t want to, I saw these things within myself.

To change the world, one has to only see that the change begins within their own selves.

I came to the realization that I had to somehow move past my mistakes, for dwelling on them would only cause more suffering to continue. I needed to learn from them to transcend them into something greater. From the book “Healing Relationships” by Lama Choedak Rinpoche, this is the prayer for change — my map along this journey, that helps me find my way.

Deep Love,

What Is The Mind?

Shut the gates to the external world and walk, step into the internal chambers of your mind. The mind. What is the mind? Take the time to explore the mind. Wander about its being. Search deep within it’s very walls and you will find only two things: the past and the future.

The mind is simply a storage house of your whole past. Each and every moment of your past is placed on the shelves of the mind. It simply carries; keeps; holds onto all the memories of your past.

If all the mind is, is a storage house of your whole past, then what you could do with the mind is explore it’s chambers. And like taking a book off a library shelf to read, you can take a memory of the past off the shelf of mind and look through it. Selecting the most desirable and pleasing of memories and skimming past the un-desirable and painful of memories. Put it back and go back again and again. Again and again into these memories.

But, the action of pulling the same memories off the shelf to be looked at again and again can get boresome. For nothing can be done about the past, it is already done. So another activity, something more challenging, is sought out. The mind thinks, “The past is already done, nothing can be done about it, but something can be done about the future!” You leave the most beautiful of memories and take down the ugly, un-wanted memories and tear the pages apart and re-write them. This is called daydreaming. All the future is, is your past re-arranged and better written.

This is the mind. The mind swings you back and forth between the past and future, like a pendulum.

And all the while you’re going back and forth doing this, you are missing. You are missing the present. All the ancient ones — the mystics, the gurus, the yogis, all knew the sacredness that lies in the present. The present. The only existence there is. The only truth. All that there is, you will go on missing if you don’t become more aware.

With awareness, you can choose to take hold of the weight of the pendulum into your own hands and choose to walk into and look at the past at will, take some teachings from it’s stories and return into the present to implement the wisdom of it’s existence, so not to repeat the same mistakes in the future.

Meditation simply means a moment when you step out of the mind and into the present. Into here. Into now. The only existence, the only truth. All that is, is only here, right now, in this moment. No where else. The answers have been and always will be sitting right here in the centre of the palms of your very hands. All you have to do is open up and look. It is here for your taking.

As you go about your day, take a moment to step out of the mind and come into all that is. Don’t think about that flower. Look at this flower and absorb the vibrant colours in with the eyes and smell the sweet fragrant it let’s off. Don’t think about the food you are about to eat. Taste the succulent flavours and feel the texture of the food you are eating. Don’t think about the words I am about to say. Listen to the words I am saying. Because if you don’t, you miss. And tomorrow will never come, for today was tomorrow just yesterday. And yesterday was tomorrow the day before. All the past was part of the future at one point, and where were you?

Don’t let another day pass by, for tomorrow is here today…

Deep Love,